I’ve actually never had to take a drug test in my entire life and wasn’t really prepared to be asked to take one. But, when we moved to Southern California, I had to look for a new job and, since casinos are pretty big in SoCal, I applied at one. Our new home was in San Jacinto and there was a casino really close to it. In addition, I had heard talk about how they had some pretty great positions open and that it was a fun place to work. Sounded good to me, so I polished up my resume and drove up there to apply.
It was a pretty noisy place but with an exciting vibe so I thought that everybody was right. It could be someplace that I would enjoy working. The HR office was out back, so I headed out there and met with a nice guy who was handling potential new hires. He looked at my app and said that my extensive background in the payday loan business could make me a pretty good contender for one of their better-paying jobs. Back east, I had run a PDL store for ten years but I was pretty tired of that type of job. He said that they would call me in a couple of days if I was hired and schedule my drug test.
OK, I’ve never thought of myself as being a good actress but I suppressed my panic and put my best “Oh, of course,” face on. I didn’t want to let him know that the thought of taking a drug test scared the Hell out of me. We hardly ever smoked when we lived on the East Coast but when we moved to Cali, it seemed like everybody was doing it. We wanted to fit in and it wasn’t like we hadn’t rolled a few in our wilder days, so we went for it. Unfortunately, it had only been that last weekend and, being Monday morning, if they called me for that damn test right away, I would probably fail.
I thanked the HR guy, headed for my car, and then drove straight to my local drugstore (ironic, right?). I bought two of those OTC DIY kits, took them home and followed all of the directions. TWICE! Obviously, the first one wasn’t a false positive. Now, I was really panicking. I knew they would call and I wouldn’t be ready! So, I did the only logical thing I could do and I took to the Internet to look for a better option.
What I found was a Monkey Whizz Review that looked pretty promising, So, I ordered, got it quickly and followed every one of the instructions to the letter. Did I mention that during that time, the casino called and wanted me to take the drug test the next day? Talk about a close call. But, I was confident that the Monkey Whizz Review was indeed accurate and that I would pass, so I headed off to get my very first drug test.
Wow, I thought I knew what to expect but I didn’t. That nice HR guy called me the next day and wasn’t quite so nice this time. He told me that I had failed the drug test and not to apply there again. I guess they’re pretty strict about this particular matter, and I was crushed. How could I have been so stupid as to trust that stupid Monkey Whizz Review? I couldn’t figure out what went wrong because I know I did everything right but, guess what? Monkey Whizz did not! They really made a monkey out of me! After more research, I found out that what I should’ve used was real powdered urine like they sell at testclear.com.